I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
