Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
