Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
