I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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