Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
