If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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