Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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