What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
