ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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