Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im six kinds of drunk right now
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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