I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I want a musical about memes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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