My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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