He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
