well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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