this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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