We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
