before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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