why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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