yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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