i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize