She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
