you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
