there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize