He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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