just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
