I want to stick my p in your. b.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
