i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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