It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
