i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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