I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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