Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
