ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just gargled with NyQuil
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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