Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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