Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
