I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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