it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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