yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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