I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize