I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
