told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
