So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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