I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
