hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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