i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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