You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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