Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
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