yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My pussy is not your playground.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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