If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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