its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
