I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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