we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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