They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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