My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
