if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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