Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
