drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
